In the sun-drenched hills of Montecito, where the Pacific breeze whispers through sprawling estates, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have carved out a life far from the rigid traditions of Buckingham Palace. Their $14.5 million mansion, complete with seven bedrooms, a playhouse, and a pool, is a haven for their two children, Prince Archie, six, and Princess Lilibet, three. But beneath the idyllic surface of their California dream lies a parenting decision that has sparked intrigue and speculation: since the age of one, neither Archie nor Lilibet has slept in the same room as their mother. Instead, when not sharing a bed with their father, the children sleep under the watchful care of their trusted nanny. The reason, long shrouded in mystery, has finally come to light, revealing a story of caution, protection, and a mother’s unwavering commitment to her children’s safety.

The revelation came during Meghan’s candid appearance on The Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast in April 2025, where she opened up about her life as a working mother. With a warmth that contrasted her often-scrutinized public persona, she described her morning routine: waking at 6:30 a.m., preparing lunchboxes with handwritten notes, and navigating the “big circuit” of dropping Archie and Lilibet at their separate schools. But it was her mention of an “amazing nanny” who has been with the family for five years that piqued curiosity. This nanny, whose identity remains undisclosed, plays a pivotal role in the Sussexes’ household, including overseeing the children’s nighttime routine when Meghan or Harry are unavailable. The decision for Archie and Lilibet to sleep apart from Meghan since their first birthdays, often with the nanny, stems from a traumatic incident early in Archie’s infancy—one that reshaped the couple’s approach to childcare.

In 2019, shortly after Archie’s birth in London, Meghan and Harry hired a night nurse to help establish a sleep schedule. The couple, still adjusting to parenthood under the intense scrutiny of royal life, hoped for support as Meghan’s mother, Doria Ragland, returned to Los Angeles. But on the nurse’s second night, an incident occurred—details of which remain closely guarded for legal reasons. According to Finding Freedom, a biography by Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand, the nurse was dismissed for being “unprofessional and irresponsible.” The event left Meghan and Harry rattled, unable to sleep without checking on Archie constantly. A second night nurse was hired and performed adequately, but the initial betrayal of trust lingered. By the time Archie turned one, the couple had decided against live-in night staff, opting instead for a daytime nanny and taking on nighttime duties themselves. This pattern continued when Lilibet was born in 2021, with the children sleeping either with Harry or under the nanny’s supervision.

The Montecito mansion, with its sprawling layout, offers ample space for such arrangements. Unlike the traditional royal practice of employing live-in nannies from prestigious institutions like Norland College, Meghan and Harry chose a more private approach. Their current nanny, who joined the family around the time of their move to California in 2020, is described as a steady presence. She handles school drop-offs when Meghan’s schedule—filled with meetings for her lifestyle brand As Ever or her podcast Confessions of a Female Founder—becomes too demanding. At night, when Harry is away or Meghan needs rest, the nanny ensures Archie and Lilibet are secure in their rooms, which are likely equipped with monitors for added peace of mind. This setup reflects a deliberate choice to limit staff presence in their home, a stark contrast to the “filled with staff” households of other royals.

Meghan’s decision has not been without controversy. On social media platforms like Reddit, critics have questioned the authenticity of her “working mom” narrative, pointing out the privilege of having a nanny. One user remarked, “Juggling all those, no wonder Mama’s exhausted,” sarcastically listing an imagined army of staff. Others have speculated about the nanny’s role, with some even suggesting DNA tests to fuel baseless conspiracy theories. Yet, Meghan’s supporters argue that her openness about needing help is refreshing. She has never claimed to do it all alone, instead emphasizing the emotional weight of motherhood. “I just need a break,” she admitted on the podcast, her voice cracking as she described missing her children the moment she steps away.

The incident with the first nanny, though vague in specifics, has clearly left a lasting impact. It’s not hard to imagine the fear that gripped Meghan and Harry—new parents, already under global scrutiny, discovering that someone entrusted with their newborn’s care had faltered. The event likely reinforced Meghan’s instinct to protect her children from external risks, a theme that runs through her and Harry’s post-royal life. Their move to Montecito, their guarded privacy, and their selective use of staff all point to a desire to shield Archie and Lilibet from the chaos of their public personas. The nanny, now a five-year fixture, has earned their trust where others failed, becoming an extension of the family rather than just an employee.

Life in Montecito is a blend of ordinary and extraordinary. Meghan’s mornings are filled with relatable tasks: brushing teeth, making pancakes, and slipping notes into lunchboxes. “I love doing lunchboxes, it makes me very happy,” she shared, a sentiment that resonates with parents everywhere. But the logistics of two schools, a sprawling estate, and a career that spans Netflix series and philanthropy require support. The nanny’s role allows Meghan to balance these demands while ensuring Archie and Lilibet’s routines remain stable. When Archie stayed home with a cold, Meghan adjusted her schedule, listening to his “pitter-patter” on monitors—a reminder of her hands-on approach despite the help.

Harry, too, plays a significant role. Meghan described him as a “great partner,” supportive and encouraging her to take breaks. Their Netflix docuseries Harry & Meghan offered glimpses of their family life: Harry and Archie watching hummingbirds, Meghan cooking with her niece. These moments paint a picture of a couple striving for normalcy, even as their past—royal duties, media battles, and that fateful nanny incident—casts a long shadow. The decision to have Archie and Lilibet sleep apart from Meghan reflects not a lack of closeness but a strategic choice born of caution. The nanny’s presence ensures the children are never alone, while Meghan and Harry maintain control over their inner sanctum.

As the Sussexes navigate their new chapter, Meghan’s revelations have sparked both admiration and debate. Some see her as a mother doing her best in extraordinary circumstances; others view her reliance on a nanny as a disconnect from the “overwhelming” struggles she describes. Yet, the core of her story is universal: a parent’s drive to protect their children, shaped by a moment of betrayal that could have happened to anyone. In Montecito, where the ocean meets the mountains, Meghan and Harry have built a fortress of love and vigilance, with a trusted nanny as their ally. The world may speculate, but for Archie and Lilibet, the nights are safe, the lunchboxes are packed, and their parents’ devotion is unwavering.

The reason for their sleeping arrangements, once a whispered rumor, is now clear: a single night in 2019 changed everything, proving that even duchesses must learn to trust again.