The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have been blasted for the Valentine’s Day post on Meghan Markle’s new Instagram account.

Sarah Vine said followers were “treated” to a black-and-white photo of Prince Harry and his wife “smissing” – “that studied half-smile, half-kiss celebrities do when they want to convey affection, but not in a messy or unsightly way”.

Meghan signed off her post with a nod to their Anglo-American marriage by saying: “My love, I will eat burgers & fries and fish & chips with you forever. Thank you for you.”

But Vine described this as “disingenous” in her Mail on Sunday column, scoffing: “Nonsense: those chips on her plate have clearly not been touched.”

To be fair to the Duchess, the burger on her plate only had a few bites left. It was Harry’s fish and chips that may cause more consternation to Brits, as the national dish had clearly been served with salad.

The column was aimed at “smug married” celebrities in general, sharing a “nauseating and seemingly endless” torrent of “PDAs” on their social media channels in the belief that “they represent something uniquely special”.
Meghan Markle’s Valentine’s Day post
Vine – who was married to former Tory MP Michael Gove for 21 years – describes the trend as “the ultimate in narcissistic coupledom” and says Meghan is “particularly prone to this delusion”. In one photo at the Invictus Games recently, she was “captured clasping Prince Harry’s bicep, head on his shoulder, like a beauty queen at a high-school soccer game (she’s 43)”.

Other photos taken in Vancouver captured Meghan “gazing adoringly [at Harry]as he made some doubtless thrilling pronouncement” or “planting a Hollywood-style kiss on him, clearly aimed at the cameras”.

“And why not? After all, she’s got her own Montecito version of The Good Life to promote – what better opportunity than a tournament for wounded military veterans to enhance her status as the perfect wife and mother?”

The column also warned that Prince William and Kate Middleton “have been trailing a close second of late”. But Vine noted: “Unlike the Sussexes – or for that matter the Beckhams – they are not trying to build a commercial brand, they have nothing to sell.”

She concluded: “It’s nice to see people happy together, of course, it always is. But there’s something about couples who are endlessly trumpeting their devotion to each other that gets on the nerves, in the same way that bragging about your children’s achievements or talking about how much the value of your house has risen is boring, not to mention impolite.”