Meghan Markle Sets Sights on Lifestyle Queen Title, But Faces Stiff Competition

Meghan Markle is on a mission to establish herself as the next queen of the lifestyle and wellness industry with her latest brand venture. However, she faces an undeniable challenge—Gwyneth Paltrow, the reigning champion of high-end wellness.

In a recent Vanity Fair interview, Paltrow warmly welcomed Meghan to the world of curated lifestyles, stating, “There’s always more than enough to go around.” She sweetly added, “I was raised to see other women as friends, not foes.” But while Gwyneth extended an olive branch, Meghan’s fans didn’t seem to get the message about the whole “friends, not foes” concept.

A social media storm erupted when fitness guru Tracy Anderson innocently captioned an Instagram post with “Welcome to my actual kitchen.” Meghan’s supporters took this as a subtle jab at the Duchess, leading to an online frenzy. Anderson quickly clarified that she simply meant she wasn’t filming from Goop’s kitchen, but that didn’t stop Meghan’s fanbase from shifting their outrage to Paltrow herself.

Then came the ultimate shade from Gwyneth—an effortlessly chic, makeup-free video of her making breakfast in her minimalist home, sipping coffee from a monogrammed mug, and casually petting her dog. The simplicity, the authenticity—the sheer Paltrow-ness of it all. And to top it off, she used a song from Meghan’s former show.

Not one to let a perceived slight go unanswered, Meghan fired back the next day with her own breakfast video. However, instead of showcasing an impressive culinary creation, she and her best friend Kelly McKee Zajfen presented what could only be described as the saddest banana split—just a banana, granola, jam, and blueberries.

“When one of the besties reinvents a banana split for breakfast,” Meghan captioned the post as if she had just unveiled a groundbreaking new dish. She and Kelly then clinked their forks together in a dramatic toast, before Meghan declared, “So good!”

The internet, however, was not convinced. Social media erupted with disbelief, questioning why Meghan was so impressed by what was essentially a toddler’s snack. One commenter quipped, “Granola, jam, and berries on a banana—groundbreaking.” Another questioned why Kelly was dressed for fall while Meghan looked like she had just rolled out of bed. And of course, there was the ever-present debate: “Why does Meghan always dangle her hair over food?”

Perhaps the most baffling aspect of this saga was the idea that this was meant to be a clapback at Gwyneth. Did Meghan really believe this was her moment to shine? Did she imagine Paltrow would cower at the sight of a sliced banana? If so, she gravely miscalculated.

While Gwyneth continues to promote high-end wellness products and champion women supporting women, Meghan is posting about bananas and calling it innovation. And speaking of that banana—many were horrified to see she left the untrimmed end intact. “If she has such an eye for detail, why didn’t she trim the banana properly?” one critic questioned. Others were more concerned about the sugar content, warning that if Meghan keeps eating like this, she’ll be pre-diabetic in no time.

So, what have we learned from this so-called “Battle of Breakfast Aesthetics”? Meghan is still trying to establish herself as a lifestyle guru, but she keeps tripping over her own banana peels. Meanwhile, Gwyneth, whether intentionally or not, has mastered the art of making Meghan look amateurish—without even trying.