Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do and Susan Downey knows this all too well.

"I said this isn't gonna work": Susan Downey Set One Ultimatum For Robert Downey Jr. When They Started Dating

Robert Downey Jr.’s graph has seen its ups and downs, particularly during the time he was suffering from addiction. Luckily, he had people around who would go out of their way to help him battle his demons and push him towards the comeback of a lifetime. Out of these people, his wife, Susan Downey, had a major role in helping Robert Downey Jr. come out of the darkness.


Robert Downey Jr. and Susan DowneyRobert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey (via Robert Downey Jr.’s Instagram)
While talking about their relationship, Susan Downey revealed that she didn’t witness her husband’s “Darth Vader side” when they were dating except for one moment. What followed next was an ultimatum that Robert Downey Jr. ended up taking to his heart and decided to toss out his bad habits.

Susan Downey’s Ultimatum for Robert Downey Jr.

Robert Downey Jr. in GothikaRobert Downey Jr. in Gothika


The two met on the sets of the 2003 film Gothika. While Robert Downey Jr. played the role of Dr. Pete Graham, Susan Downey was one of the producers of the film. They instantly knew that they were soulmates and the couple got engaged just a few months later.

However, nothing would have probably happened between them if Downey Jr. hadn’t given up his drug addiction.

Talking to Harper’s Bazaar in 2009, the Kiss Kiss Bang Bang producer stated that she didn’t initially see a problem with his addiction due to her “extreme naivete and ignorance.”

As time went by and romance bloomed between the two, she stated that there was no but one incident where she came face to face with her partner’s “Darth Vader side.”

“He was clean and sober — completely professional when he was working, and then, in the off hours, he was just a fun guy. More than anything, I never doubted it. There was something in my gut that knew really quickly. I knew three months in that this was it… I did meet Darth Vader, for like a minute…right after the movie wrapped.”

She was then forced to give Downey an ultimatum.

“I said immediately, ‘This isn’t gonna work.’ I made it clear that to stay with me, nothing could happen.”

Well, when you love someone, you sometimes have to do all you can to not let them fall down a horrible, horrible path. Luckily, it seems as if her ultimatum ended up working for Downey.

Susan Downey’s Ultimate Worked for Robert Downey Jr.

Robert Downey Jr. in and as Iron ManRobert Downey Jr. in and as Iron Man
As per Harper’s Bazaar, something clicked inside the Iron Man actor after hearing the words of the woman he loved. In July 2024, Downey drove to a Burger King on the Pacific Coast Highway and threw all his drugs into the ocean, never to look back.

Needless to say, the risk of losing his future with Susan Downey played a huge role in him finally defeating addiction.

She stated,

“I think he saw what we had. There was something magical there, something we couldn’t put our finger on. He always says that we became this third thing when we got together — something that neither of us could have become by ourselves — and I think that’s true.”

Finally, the two tied the knot in a wedding in the Hamptons on August 27, 2005, went on to have two kids – Avri and Exton – and have continued to live happily ever after ever since. Their love story is nothing short of a movie!