Megan Markle’s first day in Columbia was supposed to be all about dazzling the crowd with an eye-popping collection of luxury outfits. After all, what’s a visit to a developing country without flaunting a wardrobe worth more than most people’s annual salary? But alas, the only thing anyone’s talking about is Megan’s rather unfortunate bout with, well, crotch sweat.
Megan touched down in Bogota with all the flair and expense we’ve come to expect: a £598 Navy vest here, £448 Navy trousers there, and don’t forget the £3,775 Laura Piana handbag. Oh, and of course, she had to accessorize with Pippa Small earrings worth a cool £650 because how else would the good people of Colombia know that they’re in the presence of royalty?
As if that wasn’t enough, Megan couldn’t resist layering on the bling—a Lorraine Schwartz diamond bracelet costing over £15,000, a bracelet worth £7,000 naturally, and to top it all off, a £24,900 Cartier watch. For the footwear, Megan chose Manolo Blahnik black heels, setting her back another £595. Clearly, no expense was spared.
But the pièce de résistance of the day was the outfit Megan chose for the Responsible Digital Future Forum at the University. Here, she sported a £597 chocolate brown shirt by Victoria Beckham—yep, the same Victoria Beckham who, according to rumors, might not be sending Megan any more free samples after their friendship allegedly cooled. Pairing the earthy shirt with glossy trousers and burnt orange suede sandals, Megan was clearly going for a chic, laidback vibe.
But as fate would have it, the outfit didn’t quite hold up under the pressure—literally. By the time Megan and Harry were posing for photographs, the only thing more noticeable than her expensive jewelry was the series of sweat stains that had taken over her ensemble. What exactly was Megan thinking when she picked this outfit? Surely someone in her entourage could have pointed out that a heavy dark fabric might not be the best choice for a humid day in Bogota. But perhaps she was more focused on the price tag than the practicality. After all, when you’re trying to impress a crowd with your fashion prowess, who has time to worry about a little thing like sweat?
Megan, with her love of luxurious labels and carefully curated appearances, was brought down by something as basic as perspiration. Not just any perspiration, mind you—this was crotch sweat, and it was impossible to miss. Social media quickly lit up with comments ranging from disbelief to outright mockery. “Why is she sweating in those areas sitting down when the others aren’t?” one particularly observant comment asked.
It didn’t help that Prince Harry seemed to be distancing himself—literally—from the whole situation. According to reports, he refused to embrace Megan after noticing the stains, opting instead to keep his hands firmly behind his back. Ouch, that’s going to hurt more than the sweat itself.
As the day wore on, Megan’s wardrobe choices became the talk of the town, but not in the way she’d hoped. It wasn’t the bling, the designer labels, or even the outrageous cost of her outfits that stole the spotlight. No, it was the unsightly sweat stains.
So what’s the lesson here? Perhaps it’s that no amount of money can buy good taste, or at the very least, a more breathable fabric. Megan, next time you’re packing for a high-profile trip, opt for something a little less sweaty.
