Deadpool & Wolverine Should Do The Funniest Thing With TJ Miller Weasel

If you’ve been living under a rock, you might not have heard about the controversy between TJ Miller and Ryan Reynolds. Miller, who has appeared in the previous two Deadpool films, will reportedly not appear in Deadpool & Wolverine as Weasel. There are a number of reasons this could be, and there are a number of things I think the film could do with the character.

Miller Isn’t Coming Back

Weasel is a character who could truly be played by anyone, and I’ve got several funny actors in mind who could sit in for a few minutes to act as a supporting role for Deadpool and a foil for Reynolds’ wit.

Miller has said that Reynolds was horrifically mean to him during filming of the second Deadpool film, claiming his ego had gotten too big as his fame rose. But, as Miller complains about and insults many of his co-stars, even those who are supposedly his close friends, we have to take this criticism with a grain of salt. Clearly, Miller will not return to Deadpool & Wolverine as Weasel.

Kill Him Off

As such, the film franchise could do so much with this character now to give Miller an appropriate send off. We could be shown Weasel from behind and have him die in some ridiculous way.

Picture it, the camera could follow a slow motion bullet as it travels toward the back of the curly red-haired head. Cut to Deadpool shouting out a horrified “Nooooooooooo!”

There could be some super sappy love song playing loudly over the scene like Celine Dion’s “The Heart Will Go On.” Blam.

The bullet strikes our barkeep down and Deadpool & Wolverine no longer have to worry about Weasel. Deadpool could crack a joke about how he didn’t serve much purpose anyway.

Recast Him With A Gryffindor

Or, Deadpool could use the time travel apparent in Deadpool & Wolverine to go get a younger, cooler Weasel to replace his older, tired, boring barkeep (Rupert Grint, anyone?).

We could have a hip, funny, slightly cowardly Ron Weasley stand in as Weasel, which would obviously win the hearts and minds of virtually everyone, and likely anger Miller.

So, it’s a win/win. Deadpool could go easier on this Weasel, still being slightly mocking but also chucking him under the chin on occasion. Of course, he would have to make some crack about how young Weasel is such an improvement over the lesser choice.

Recast Him With Heimdall

Even better, Deadpool & Wolverine could replace Miller’s Weasel with someone completely unrelated and unfamiliar, like Idris Elba or Henry Golding, and have this Weasel snap back at Deadpool, to which Deadpool could respond with a comment about how now he deserves more respect.

You can imagine how Elba, the man who could still play James Bond, would be derisive and unflustered by Deadpool, making intelligent remarks that put Deadpool in his place, kind of the way Cable did in the last Deadpool scene.

It’s No Longer Miller Time

Whatever the film does, I hope it’s something epic and derisive of an actor who had gotten far too big for his britches, even before he became a “big” actor. Hopefully, a decade from now, we’ll all be wondering, “who’s TJ Miller again?”