The Sussexes need to stop using the victim card and lighten up to make their comeback work

The first step of “operation win back America” was a success. At least, according to early signs. The timing of Harry and Meghan’s first interview since their bombshell 2021 Oprah Winfrey tell-all was perfect (Sunday was the Duchess of Sussex’s 43rd birthday), as was the length (just ten minutes).

Nobody could dispute either the importance of the subject matter – a new Archewell initiative, The Parents’ Network, centred around protecting children from online harm – or their genuine attachment to the cause. And although some viewers were left bemused by Meghan’s insistence that she “wasn’t expecting” CBS host Jane Pauley to mention her mental health struggles and thoughts of self-harm, the Duchess was, on this occasion, able to refrain from making it all about her.

On X, the immediate US reaction was overwhelmingly positive. “Having endured more bullying than most, Harry and Meghan truly understand the importance of their project.” “I applaud them for using their spotlight for good.” “Time to celebrate these two.”

God knows, the Sussexes needed this win. Moving to the US should have been, as they say out there, “a slam dunk”. Any form of royalty, even the kind stuck in a tortured love-hate relationship with their own royal heritage, makes Americans go weak at the knees, and here was a revolutionary taking a stand against racism and mean older brothers the world over.

Here was a young man who not only chose to marry an American but seek refuge from all that is bad in America, a country that could be said to have a few problems of its own.

Then began the couple’s Tour of Discontent. Although the Oprah interview was received more favourably in the US than it was in the UK, stepping down as working royals ultimately chipped away at their popularity, as did the repeated attacks waged on the King and the Prince and Princess of Wales in both their Netflix whineumentary and Harry’s ill-advised 2023 memoir, Spare.

But perhaps the biggest mistake to date was the Prince’s acceptance of the ESPY Pat Tillman Award, last month. This triggered an angry backlash not just from the public, but the mother of the heroic late veteran the annual service award was set up to honour – and sparked a series of “why the US has fallen out of love with the Sussexes” op-eds.

The woo-back started on Sunday. And this time it really could be “a slam dunk” – if Harry and Meghan have learnt from their mistakes, and if they heed the advice in my five-point-plan.

First: stop whining. Put away that violin. Embracing victim culture is effective and lucrative… to a point. But if 15 years in the US has taught me anything it’s that Americans are uniquely forward-facing, forward-thinking, snap-yourself-out-of-it people. When Spare was published, my LA neighbour’s reaction was: “Why would you choose to live in that space?” Nothing could have summed up US thinking better. Bad things happen, and you can visit “that space”, you can share what you learnt – but don’t, for pity’s sake, set up home there.

Say one or two things, publicly – even if through gritted teeth – in favour of the British monarchy. You can still loathe everything about the institution in private, and Meghan can still keep her voodoo dolls down in the cellar, but next time either of you do an interview, why not throw in an appreciative word about Princess Anne, the beauty of royal pomp or the importance of some of our royal rituals. They may have felt suffocating to you, but Americans would like to keep the myths and illusions they were raised on intact.

Make up with your father. Make up with William and Kate. Release a bedtime story about the triumph of familial love and dedicate it to Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis. As Olympic-level empaths, surely you can find a way to hug it all out (and have that healing moment caught on camera)? Family estrangements are a bit like divorces, you see: you can get away with one, maybe two, but at a certain point, it’s embarrassingly obvious where the problem lies.

Bring back the mischievous Prince Harry of old. Americans love a goofball. Play naked billiards, strike funny poses, pull silly faces and dad dance just like Wills did to Taylor Swift, whenever you get the chance. Meghan: regale the daytime TV hosts with stories about your husband’s domestic pranks. And by the way, people think it’s weird that Harry doesn’t have any of his original mates left. Build yourself a bro-tourage out in LA, Haz. Make sure you get pictured out on the town, sinking a few ethically sourced, sustainable brews with the Ryans (Reynolds and Gosling), Taylor’s boyfriend, Travis Kelce, or anyone brand-enhancing in the eyes of the Gen Z demographic. Also, put your name to a tequila brand. Americans love celebrity booze peddlers. Just make sure it’s not ‘Frozé’ but man-booze with a rugged name.

Lastly, understand that you don’t have to be earnest all the time. You’re not politicians and you’re not members of the clergy, and whilst it’s commendable to use your celebrity to promote good causes, you are both celebrities. Interspersing the worthy causes with celebrity high jinks? That’s the sweet spot.  And actually, if you’re Prince Harry, just saying “high jinks” as often as you can in a terribly British accent will probably get you all the love you need.