[Verse 1]
In my head it’s like I got two fuckin’ beats goin’ at once (Woo)
Like two chicks in a tug-of-war tryna compete for my love
I tell ’em, “Stop bein’ jealous, I love you each just as much”
Until one of them tells me that I’ma never be what I was
Other one just called me a bitch and said I’m not evil no more
Like, I don’t see what they’re doin’, they’re tryna get me to kill him
B-B-B-Beefin’ with them is probably the least of my worries
Got people screamin’ I suck, you think the old me is better?
Shit, I take that bleach blonde, wannabe 2Pac, little fake wigger, fuckin’
Douchebag and strangle him up with his durag for thinkin’ he’s tough
But havin’ him taped up with duct, his two hands and ankles and fucked
Through his pants and raped in the butt with broom handles ain’t good enough
Who has the painkillers? ‘Cause as soon as I dangle them, stuff
A few down his trachea, sucks, it’s too bad it came to this, but
The motherfuckin’ handkerchief, and them stupid ass fingerless gloves
When I was him, I couldn’t stand him, I’ve always hated his guts

[Interlude]
Fuckin’ bitch
Ayo, Dre, this does sound like some vintage shit though
Fuck it

[Verse 2]
Let’s make ’em harken back to the days when all that mattered
Was Dre and Marshall Mathers, no breaks to slaughter gas
Because they are talking crap like we’re ancient artefacts
But the fact that you suck and all of you ain’t shit are the facts
But this ain’t retarded rap, so your brain don’t know how to act
What’s good for you’s bad for you, like what cures AIDS causes cancer
Now scream loud as you can (Ah), shorty, wow, you look bad, amazing
A human labyrinth, slow down just a tad
But it’s too bananas, this club is too damn rowdy, you can’t
It’s 2 AM, how do you stand after Lucid Absinthe
A bag of Cool Ranch and Mountain Dew cans?
I’m actually proud of you, man
This is place is— place is too amped like food stamps that’s out of my hands
‘Cause I don’t hold food stamps any more, place is too amped
Shout to the Stans
Rest of y’all, eat a dick, you say nothin’ jumps out at you
How ’bout if I jump out the speaker and beat the fuck out of you then?