Newly released details from the ongoing investigation into the death of Abigail Garside have revealed a far more complex and heartbreaking picture behind the 32-year-old influencer’s apparent suicide on what should have been the happiest day of her life—her first wedding anniversary with husband Samuel. On the surface, the couple had posted loving anniversary photos just hours before her body was discovered hanged in a secluded wooded area near their luxury Bali resort on January 18, 2026. The images showed them embracing, laughing, and toasting with champagne under the caption: “One year married to my best friend. Here’s to forever 💍❤️”. But behind the filtered perfection, sources close to the investigation say Abigail had been quietly unraveling for months.
According to police documents and witness statements obtained by British tabloids and local Balinese authorities, Abigail had been battling severe postpartum depression and generalized anxiety disorder since giving birth to their first child 14 months earlier. Friends and family members who spoke anonymously told investigators she had become increasingly withdrawn, canceling social engagements, deleting old posts from her once-vibrant Instagram account, and expressing guilt that she “wasn’t a good enough mother or wife”. Despite appearing joyful in public, she had confided in one close friend just two weeks before the trip: “I feel like I’m failing everyone. Even when I’m smiling, I’m screaming inside.”
The anniversary getaway to Bali was supposed to be a reset. Samuel had planned the entire trip as a surprise—private villa, couples spa days, sunset dinners—hoping the change of scenery would help Abigail reconnect with herself and their relationship. The couple had posted several curated moments throughout the week: beach walks, candlelit dinners, a romantic vow renewal ceremony on the sand. To the outside world, they looked happier than ever. But hotel staff and fellow guests later told police that tension had been building.
Security footage from the resort corridor, leaked earlier this week, captured the couple’s final public argument at 10:22 p.m. on January 17—just nine hours before Abigail’s body was found. In the 3-minute clip, Abigail is seen shouting through tears: “You promised me this would fix everything!” and “I can’t keep pretending I’m okay!” before storming barefoot down the hallway. Samuel follows briefly, calling her name, but returns to the room alone. Abigail was last seen on CCTV leaving the main lobby at 10:31 p.m. Her phone was later recovered, powered off, near the cliffside path where she was discovered.
Toxicology reports showed therapeutic levels of anti-anxiety medication in her system, along with a small amount of alcohol. No illicit substances were present. The autopsy confirmed death by ligature strangulation consistent with hanging from a sturdy tree branch using a length of fabric believed to be a sarong from their room. There was no suicide note, but investigators recovered several unsent drafts in her phone notes app, written over the previous three months. One entry, dated two days before they flew to Bali, read:
“I love him so much but I feel like I’m drowning. Everyone thinks we’re perfect. I can’t tell anyone I’m not. What kind of mother am I if I can’t even be happy on our anniversary? I don’t want to hurt them, but I don’t know how to keep going.”
Samuel has been fully cooperative with Balinese police and UK authorities. In a brief statement released through his solicitor on January 21, he said: “Abigail was the love of my life. She fought so hard to hide her pain from everyone, including me. I will spend the rest of my life wishing I had seen it sooner. Our daughter deserves to grow up knowing how deeply her mother loved her—even on the days she couldn’t feel it herself.”
Abigail’s family has publicly questioned whether the death was truly suicide, citing her lifelong fear of heights and the fact that she had never expressed suicidal ideation to them. However, police have ruled out foul play after reviewing extensive CCTV, witness statements, and forensic evidence. The investigation remains open while mental health records and digital communications are examined more closely.
The tragedy has sparked renewed discussion about the hidden mental health crisis among influencers and new mothers. Abigail had built a following of over 1.2 million by sharing aspirational family and travel content. Behind the curated posts, friends now say she felt trapped by the pressure to appear “perfect”. Several fellow creators have since posted raw, unfiltered stories of their own struggles with postpartum depression, anxiety, and the toll of maintaining a public persona.
A memorial fund in Abigail’s name has already raised over £220,000 to support mental health charities focused on maternal well-being, postpartum support, and suicide prevention among young women. Her daughter, now 14 months old, is being cared for by close family members.
One line from Abigail’s unsent notes has been repeated across social media and vigils held in her memory:
“I just wanted to be enough. For him. For her. For me.”
She never got the chance to know she already was.
