Celebrimbor, please survive!

It’s not looking too good for…loyal Esquire readers will know where I’m going with this…Celebrimbor. As The Rings of Power heads toward the season 2 finale, the elven smith finishes creating all his magical jewelry. He isn’t known for much else in J.R.R. Tolkien’s fantasy series, so it pains me that the show’s best character (played by Charles Edwards) will likely go out as nothing more than the villain’s ventriloquist dummy. Can anyone save poor Celebrimbor?

The final conflict of the season takes place outside his own city’s walls in Eregion. The elf is both master craftsman and mayor of this castle, filled with Sims who won’t even raise their swords without his word. Sauron (Charlie Vickers) somehow convinces them that he’s in charge while Celebrimbor toils away in his workshop—but he isn’t really giving them any commands because he wants the orcs to murder them all. Then he creepily tells Mirdania (Amelia Kenworthy) that she will be rewarded for her loyalty. I’m ready for Sauron’s elven guise to end, because the villain is acting like You’s Joe Goldberg with an even worse wig than House of the Dragon’s Targaryens.

When Sauron checks on Celebrimbor, the elf has finally seen through his tricks. He notices that a scurrying rat makes the same movements and the candles never burn an inch. He’s stuck in a time loop, designed to keep him oblivious from the horrors outside. Celebrimbor is so proud of his discovery that he hardly even considers that he’s been completely manipulated by Sauron into forging nineteen (!) weapons of mass destruction.

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Celebrimbor, doing candle science.

The elven smith throws his hammer at the window and it shatters his reality, like when the priest from Prince of Darkness tosses his ax into the haunted mirror. He’s horrified by the carnage outside. Sobbing, he trips into the mithril ore and notices that it’s covered in black goop. It’s Sauron’s blood, which is The Rings of Power’s answer as to why the dark lord can control all the rings in the future. Celebrimbor finally puts two and two together. Oh, I’m being tricked by Sauron?!? It only took you seven episodes, Celebrimbor!

Running outside, he is immediately blasted by orc shelling. He runs out to the parapets to try to warn his protégée, Mirdania. It’s no use. She’s in love with Sauron. He also forgets that illusions are pretty much Sauron’s modus operandi. When Mirdania tries to help him, Sauron manipulates Celebrimbor’s arm and forces the elf to push her over the castle walls to her death. Celebrimbor is speechless. He’s also probably never seen an orc before. They are crazy ugly.

What’s Up with the Big Battle Outside Eregion?

Yes, the war! Elrond (Robert Aramayo) reaches out to the dwarves for help in the fight, but King Durin III (Peter Mullan) is blind with ring madness. He craves the wealth deep within the mines of Khazad-dûm, even though excavating it will likely bring the entire mountain down on their city. Durin IV (Owain Arthur) and Disa (Sophia Nomvete) convince the miners to stop their work, for now, but stopping his father’s greed will have to sit on the back-burner because Eregion is under siege. So Durin IV rouses his people with an invigorating speech. “Dwarven loyalty is a far stronger source than any sorcery!” he declares. Then they do the bizarre “Khazad?” “Dûm!” call-and-response chant like they’re at a college football game.

Elrond’s army arrives outside Eregion—hoping that the dwarves are not far behind. How did he get there so fast? He must have used the transportation system from the final seasons of Game of Thrones. But when Elrond leads the charge, Adar (Sam Hazeldine) reveals that he’s holding Galadriel (Morfydd Clark) captive. It’s enough for Elrond to call off his entire attack. Really, Elrond? Just for Galadriel? “You should’ve just kept charging, Elrond,” she later tells him.

Adar demands that Elrond hand over Galadriel’s ring in exchange for her life, but the elf refuses. “Ask me on the field, when the neck with the blade against it is yours,” he responds. Confusing grammar, but it’s bold! Then Elrond kisses Galadriel. I hadn’t seen much of a romance brewing between these two (outside of what Tolkien fans already know about them in the future), but I guess it was about time for Elrond to test the waters. It is a bit weird to wait until she’s in handcuffs, though. It must have been now or never in Elrond’s eyes.

At least we’re not in Numenor this episode. I’m glad that The Rings of Power is likely wrapping up that election plot next week. Call me crazy, but I’d much rather see those crazy orc prosthetics. This is a fantasy series! Show me the hill trolls! Like magic, a giant hill troll appears. Arondir (Ismael Cruz Córdova) finally catches up after spending all last episode just running across the map. The elves are a bit too flashy with their fighting, however, leaving them severely outnumbered by the time Adar’s forces arrive. Arondir opts for a spinning wheel kick against an orc grunt, which leaves him wide open for a fatal blow. Adar takes advantage and stabs him in the chest. Kicking Arondir to the ground, he leaves him alive and moves on. Then he steals the ring from Elrond. Even worse? An elf reports that King Durin III has sealed the gates to Khazad-dûm!

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Durin IV’s got his hands full in Khazad-dûm.

Okay, but How’s Celebrimbor Doing?

You’re right. Enough of the fighting—let’s get back to Celebrimbor. When we return, Sauron chains the elf to his workbench so that he finishes forging the rings. Celebrimbor has had enough of this torture. He throws the final nine rings into the fire, only to find that they don’t burn. So he breaks his own thumbs to wriggle free of his cuffs. Move over, Othello, Orpheus, Oedipus—there is no figure in history more tragic than Celebrimbor! Tricked into forging more than a dozen powerful rings for the most despicable man in the universe, he performs the coup de grâce on himself and forever mangles the instruments of his creations.

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Poor Celebrimbor.

Galadriel escapes Adar and arrives in Eregion, shocked. “Sauron?” she asks Celebrimbor. “More rings?” Girl, you don’t even know the half of it. “Nine,” he responds. It’s probably one of the funniest lines he could say, other than “a hundred.” She’s not even aware of the other seven he made for the dwarves. The elf gives the nine rings to Galadriel and then returns to face Sauron. Tragedy, thy name is Celebrimbor!

“It is not strength that overcomes darkness, but light,” he tells her. “Light endures and is mightier than strength. For in its presence, all darkness must flee.” He basically says the same thing twice here; it’s just more garbled the second time. Hopefully, it’s enough for The Rings of Power’s best character to survive the finale next week.