Prince Harry, in his memoir Spare, shares a raw account of a heated argument with Meghan Markle, triggered by his deeper emotional issues. Emphasizing the importance of therapy and personal growth, he acknowledges Meghan’s support in helping him confront his struggles, illustrating the real-life challenges in their relationship.
The argument, which Harry detailed with striking honesty in his revealing memoir Spare, began innocuously but quickly escalated. The Duke of Sussex doesn’t provide specifics about what sparked the disagreement but vividly recalls the intensity of his emotions. “Maybe the wine went to my head. Maybe the weeks of battling the press had worn me down,” Harry writes, setting the stage for what would become a moment of deep regret. “For some reason, when the conversation took an unexpected turn, I became touchy. Then angry. Disproportionately, sloppily angry.”
In the heat of the moment, Harry’s temper flared, and he directed harsh words at Meghan, words he now deeply regrets. The Duke reflects on how his frustration boiled over, fueled by a combination of cultural differences, a perceived language barrier, and the relentless pressure of public scrutiny. “It was partly a cultural difference, partly a language barrier, but I was also just over-sensitive that night,” he admits. “I thought: Why’s she having a go at me? I snapped at her, spoke to her harshly—cruelly.”
Harry described how the atmosphere in the room shifted dramatically as the argument unfolded. “As the words left my mouth, I could feel everything in the room come to a stop,” he recalls, emphasizing the weight of the moment. “The gravy stopped bubbling, and the molecules of air stopped orbiting. Even Nina Simone seemed to pause.” Meghan, deeply hurt by the outburst, left the room, disappearing for fifteen minutes—a silence that spoke volumes.
When Meghan returned, she confronted Harry, asking him pointedly where his anger had come from. Her questions cut deep: “[She asked] ‘Where did you ever hear a man speak like that to a woman? Did you overhear adults speak that way when you were growing up?'” Harry, unable to answer, could only clear his throat and look away, grappling with the realization that his outburst was about far more than their conversation.
In the aftermath of the argument, Meghan made it clear that she would not tolerate such behavior in their relationship. Harry reflected on her resolve, recognizing that his anger stemmed from deeper, unresolved issues within himself. “She wasn’t going to tolerate that kind of partner. Or co-parent. That kind of life,” he wrote. “We both knew my anger hadn’t been caused by anything to do with our conversation. It came from somewhere deep inside, somewhere that needed to be excavated.”
Meghan urged Harry to seek therapy, a step he had previously resisted despite encouragement from his brother, Prince William. “I’ve tried therapy,” Harry told her, expressing his frustration with past attempts. “Willy told me to go. Never found the right person. Didn’t work.” But this time, Harry knew he needed to confront his issues head-on, for the sake of their relationship and their family.
Despite the intense argument, Harry emphasized that his love for Meghan remains unshaken. He credits her with helping him navigate some of the darkest periods of his life, pulling him out of a world where he felt lost and alone. “My wife saved me,” he said, acknowledging the profound impact Meghan has had on his life. “My partner is an exceptional human being, and I’m eternally grateful for the wisdom and the space that she has been able to give me.”
Harry’s candid reflections in Spare offer a powerful reminder that even in the most loving relationships, moments of tension and conflict are inevitable. What matters, he suggests, is how couples navigate these challenges together, with honesty, understanding, and a commitment to growth.
